Posts tagged ‘austria’

January 12, 2019

Railway workers rescue goat buried by snow plow locomotive

by allthoughtswork

Austria is up to its tits in the white stuff right now. Good for skiers, bad for ruminants.

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September 27, 2016

Anything to Declare?

by duncanr

customs-officialsa woman arriving on a flight from Morocco to Austria was stopped by customs officials suspicious about her carrion luggage – http://tinyurl.com/heelsol

May 6, 2016

Pensioners Maypole Raid

by duncanr

hhmmm, seems it is ‘traditional’ for regulars at a pub in Austria to nick the 10 metre maypole from a nearby old folks home every May 1st

this year, though, the old folk’s elite ‘Zimmer Division‘ launched a daring raid to retrieve their stolen maypole – http://tinyurl.com/zqrsv7k

June 21, 2015

Pasta Prick

by duncanr

an Austrian couple called the cops for help after their 11 yr old son locked them out of the house because he didn’t like his lunch – http://tinyurl.com/oeoc8wc

pasta tantrum

June 11, 2015

Free Beer and Sex

by duncanr

prostitutein a protest against the taxes he has to pay, the owner of a brothel in Austria is offering a ‘summer special’

for 8 weeks only – as much beer and sex punters want, all for free!

http://tinyurl.com/oztvqjb

[Hhmm, where did sticky say he was going on holiday this week ?]

March 13, 2014

Women Wail for Wanker

by duncanr

banker100Is this why bankers keep awarding themselves huge bonuses – their household bills are so much more expensive than those of you and me? (http://tinyurl.com/msudee3)

September 15, 2013

Holy Shit

by duncanr

No, please - not the Holy Water. Aargh !

No, please – not the Holy Water. Aargh !

I’m afraid I’ve got crap news for catholics

Might want to give that holy water a miss when going to church today

And if any bugger tries to sprinkle you with it, deck the b*stard

Just saying !

http://tinyurl.com/q3ntdus

October 26, 2012

Crime Does Pay

by duncanr

A man robs a bank, gets caught, is sent to prison and after he’s served his sentence, he’s given the money he stole in the first place because no-one else wants it

You think I’m making this up, don’t you?

http://tinyurl.com/9jpe5xd

June 2, 2012

F*cking Mayor F*cking Fed Up

by duncanr

The Mayor of F*cking in Austria is not f*cking amused.

Fucking tourists keep nicking the f*cking F*cking Town signs and making f*cking prank phone calls to F*cking residents and businesses

It’s gone beyond a f*cking joke now and he’s f*cking had enough. He wants to change the f*cking name of the village from F*cking to f*cking something else.

All he has to do now is get the f*cking F*cking residents to agree

Source – http://tinyurl.com/cv6skdw

February 11, 2012

Homeless get Free B&B in Brothel

by duncanr

The current cold weather in Europe is particularly bad for the homeless. With shelters full and many forced to sleep outside in sub-zero temperatures, hypothermia is a very real prospect.

Fortunately, for a lucky few at least, help is at hand.

Peter Laskaris owns a brothel in Austria. With the cold weather making men less likely to venture out, and men spending time with their families right now during the school holidays, his business has slumped. Consequently, he has empty rooms in his brothel and is making 10 of these available to the homeless. Each room has a bed (obviously) and ensuite facilities, including hot shower. He is also providing a free hot meal at breakfast.

Mr Laskaris is reportedly in talks with other brothel owners to persuade them too to offer free bed and breakfast to the homeless while this cold spell lasts rather than leave rooms lying empty

Source – http://tinyurl.com/7wrlsfq

P.S. other ‘services’ on offer in the brothel are NOT free !!!