Posts tagged ‘cornwall’

January 11, 2017

Cornish Winter Preparations

by duncanr

snow-shovelwinter’s come the snow has fell
wee josie’s nose is froze as well
wee josie’s frozen nose is skintit
winter’s diabolic, intit?

the UK is bracing itself for heavy snowfalls today and the next few days –

in response, local councils have got their gritters out and snowploughs standing by to keep the roads clear of snow and ice

even cash-strapped Cornwall council is . . .

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April 16, 2016

Race to the Death

by duncanr

when the hearse carrying Julie Wilson to her final resting place at St Gluvias Cemetery in Penryn, Cornwall broke down, there was only one thing left to do . . .

watching this vid, I was minded of one of my favourite sketches by Irish comedian Dave Allen

an old irish custom concerning the dead is that only one person buried in a graveyard can . . .

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March 6, 2016

No Prize for Ratty’s Pasty

by duncanr

cornish pastythey came from all over to compete and there were some weird fillings, e.g., “locusts, farm-raised worms and crickets, prepared in a chilli and chocolate barbecue sauce” or “English steak, Irish potatoes, Welsh leeks, Scottish haggis, Italian peperoni and French cheese

there is a full . . .

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October 22, 2014

Caution is Advised

by duncanr

dartseditThis is a Health & Safety Warning for anyone planning to visit the Dolphin Inn in Grampound, Cornwall tomorrow

Madhatters strongly advises pub-goers should wear hard hats, safety goggles, protective footwear – and avoid using the toilets when ‘The Optimists” are . . .

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April 24, 2014

A Proud Day for Cornwall

by duncanr

CORNWALLMadhatter Administrator, ‘ratty’ will no doubt be celebrating today as the EU officially recognised him as an endangered species in need of special protection –

We can only speculate about the reason(s) for his long exile abroad – there are dark rumours that he fled his native Cornwall following accusations of inappropriate behaviour involving a married woman (not his own) and a pasty

Perhaps, with the passage of time and the protection of the EU he may now be able to sneak back in return home

December 20, 2013

Penzance Xmas Lights are Pants

by duncanr

xmas lightsIt’s that time of year when towns and villages festoon the streets with Xmas lights

Some displays are visually more stunning than others, depending on the amount of money spent on the display

The lights in Penzance, however, have left residents and visitors stunned for another reason. The lights are meant to represent Xmas puddings but . . .

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June 20, 2013

Cornish Cock Up

by duncanr

Who are you calling an Ass ?

Who are you calling an Ass ?

Here’s the thing.

What with all these cctv cameras in shops now, it’s more important than ever, if intending to rob a store, that you wear some sort of disguise to mask your identity.

Balaclava, scarf, mask are all recommended

Less fit for purpose is a plastic bag over your head – the major drawback being that you can’t see bugger all out of it.

If you are forced to improvise, however, and . . .

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March 21, 2013

Cornish Police Looking for Horse Thief

by duncanr

Me Bad ?

Me Bad ?

I think we’re looking for a horse“, said Detective Constable Rick Milburn from Falmouth Police Station after hay and carrots were stolen from a local farm on March 12. Power tools and a wheelbarrow were also taken. This followed a spate of similar thefts from other farms earlier this month

These thefts have spurred the Cornish police into action. With the bit between the teeth, they have promised to leave neigh stane unturned in their hunt for the thief/thieves

Any member of the public seeing a horse acting in a suspicious manner – pushing a wheelbarrow or wielding power tools – is asked to call the non-emergency number 101, quoting reference GP/13, and ask to speak to Sergeant G.G. Prancer

Source –

May 25, 2012

Cornish Kerfuffle

by duncanr

Oh dear, some Cornish folk are not very happy at the moment

What’s she on about?

Well, by a curious coincidence, the Archway at Land’s End had a new coat of paint just in time for the world’s media to descend on Land’s End to witness the 2012 Olympic torch begin it’s journey through Cornwall

And that’s when the trouble began . . .

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