Posts tagged ‘cows’

March 13, 2018

Cork Cows like ‘Britches full of Stitches’

by duncanr

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March 30, 2016

Gies the Ba’ Back

by duncanr

bastards nicked the cows’ ball and they’re not happy about it . . .

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February 25, 2014

Men Behaving Badly

by duncanr

[Thanks to olphilosophizer for this link]

When his cows’ milk production started to fall off, a farmer installed CCTV cameras to see what was going on.

Turned out the dirty cows were getting too much sex to produce milk (http://tinyurl.com/mcyu236)

farmerandcow2edited

P.S. olphilosophizer reckons the deep snow NY State has been experiencing made the sheep hard to find

P.P.S. or maybe the women are just ucking fugly ?

January 28, 2014

Cow Starts Fire

by duncanr

Oops !

Oops !

Finally – proof that cows fart (my 1st wife always denied it)

A fire in a byre in Germany has been blamed on a build up of methane gas from farting cows being ignited by a static electric discharge

The roof of the building was extensively damaged. Fortunately, all the cows were rescued – only one (the culprit) suffering minor burns – http://tinyurl.com/nhex6d3

October 2, 2013

Cattle Stop Traffic

by duncanr

cow120There was udder chaos when a lorry travelling on an interstate in Shelby County, Kentucky  tipped over, spilling its load of 88 cows on to the road

It took 7 hours to round up all the cattle and right the lorry before traffic could start moo-ving again

http://tinyurl.com/p7q2t9m

March 26, 2012

Freedom !!!

by duncanr

Following long months cooped up inside, the cows on this farm were released from their indoor winter housing in March 2012, to their fresh pasture for spring and summer grazing.

They seemed pretty pleased to feel grass under their feet again

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December 9, 2011

Tipsy Cows Fart Less

by duncanr

Hic !

Researchers in Australia report that adding the dregs from wine-making to a cows feed resulted in some very happy cows.

It also increased milk yield by 5% while cutting methane emissions by 20%

Source – http://tinyurl.com/c3g7sew

Cuts methane emissions, eh ?

Well I’m always willing to do my bit to save the environment – pass me another bottle of merlot (hic)

November 9, 2011

Prince Charles Awarded Masai Honour

by duncanr

Prince Charles, heir to the British throne, has been given a new title by the Masai – Oloishiru Ingishu

Translated into English, this means ‘he whom the cows love so much they call for him when they are in times of distress’

I’m saying nothing ! 😆

Source – http://tinyurl.com/cwu3lty

September 26, 2009

High-flying Heifers

by duncanr

18130If you were out and about near the historic German castle of Neuschwanstein in Bavaria and saw this little lot go pasteurised you might have thought you were seeing things.

Lulu, and two udder cows, got themselves stranded when they wandered down a steep mountain path in search of pastures new and couldn’t get back up again.

Fortunately, the local Mountain Rescue Service was able to moo-ve the silly cows back to the top using the nearby chairlift.

As one of the rescuers explained –

‘It happens quite a lot, but usually we end up airlifting the cows back home via helicopter. It just so happened this trio ended up stuck near the cable car station so we were able to use the cable car.’

Hhmm, good job the cows had a heifer heights !!!

Source . . .

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September 17, 2009

Herd the one about . . .

by duncanr

361652-6-nosy-cow-300Normally when putting something up in MH, I find a news item that interests me and then rewrite it in such a way as to, hopefully, draw some humour out of it.

I can’t surpass the subtle tongue in cheek style of this writer though – so will quote it verbatim here.

Basically, a man out walking his dog by the side of a river was frightened by a herd of cows. To escape from them, he jumped into the river.

After 20 minutes in the water, and with the cows still watching him from the bank, he called the police for help.

“Authorities reacted quickly, putting a helicopter on standby in case he needed rescuing, and bringing in an officer experienced in cow-herding issues to talk him through the complex process of driving the cows away.

He was advised to walk slowly and sternly out of the river, waving his arms around and ideally holding a big stick.

He eventually managed to free himself from his watery prison, disperse the cows, and was able to meet police at a nearby hotel where they had been waiting for him.”

And I bet they had a right good laugh at the hapless hiker over their pie and pint as they waited for him in the pub

Source . . .

P.S.  How does one walk ‘sternly’ ?