Posts tagged ‘elf’

December 3, 2018

Shiraz on the Shelf

by duncanr

T’was 10 days ’til Christmas
And all through the home
Not a creature was stirring
Just a mom all alone

Everyone was fast asleep
They didn’t care one bit
They knew Mom would stay up late
And finish all this shit

* * * * * * *

move over Elf on the Shelf – you’re no longer wanted

what better than a glass of shiraz that’s refilled every morning –  – http://tinyurl.com/y8unsgb7

No question which I’d prefer (hic!)

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November 20, 2009

Santa’s little helper a sex offender

by duncanr

Oh deer, oh deer, oh deer !!!

Someone’s been a very naughty boy.

Seems one of Santa’s Elves has been very, very naughty indeed. So naughty he is on the Registered Sex Offender List.

The Maryland elf is one of many who help Santa answer kiddies letters addressed to Santa at North Pole, which the US Postal service delivers to the town of that name in Alaska.

However, fears that the elves have been penetrated by sex offenders who may use their position to garner names and addresses of children, has prompted the US postal service to suspend their Letters to Santa Delivery Service.

Read more here . . .

Jeez, what are the little buggers beggars going to do now? How are they going to tell Santa what they want for Xmas?

Was so much simpler when I was a lad. A wee note (checked over by parents for spelling mistakes) thrown on the fire, the smoke spiralling up the chimney carrying with it our words to Santa with no chance of ‘iffy’ elves interfering. Simpler times!!!