Posts tagged ‘england’

November 3, 2016

Up Yours!

by duncanr


what it’s all about –

June 28, 2016

England’s Coming Home

by duncanr

Shame, innit ? 😆 😆 😆

June 25, 2016

From our football correspondent

by NobblySan


Ahead of England’s first knockout stage game at Euro 2016  we have received a special report from our football correspondent  – Barry ‘Baz’ Thatcher .
A seasoned and respected football pundit, Baz has been following the England team around France while keeping his non-swollen eye out for the police.

Baz will be sending in further insightful reports into the finer points of the beautiful game as England progress through the tournament.

[So let’s hope they get knocked out fairly soon, eh? – Ed]

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November 17, 2015

The idiot’s guide to La Marseillaise

by NobblySan

Before tonight’s England vs France ‘friendly’ at Wembley (the last one was an away match at Waterloo, I believe) both sets of fans were urged to join in singing the French national anthem.

Some helpful soul produced a version of the lyrics that yer average cockney could understand:-

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October 6, 2015

I’m in the Money

by duncanr

5p bagsas of yesterday, shops in England began charging customers 5p for every plastic bag supplied to help carry their shopping home

overnight, my personal wealth increased substantially !

all those plastic bags I have been accumulating for years in the cupboard under the sink and in kitchen drawers – if sold for 4p each outside shops to desperate customers unwilling to pay 5p for a plastic bag, would rake me in a fortune 😆

of course, not everyone has recognised the opportunity to make a quick buck welcomed news of the charge

for instance, this was the . . .

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July 23, 2014

Farting on France

by duncanr

farting on franceHere is a MET Office Severe Weather Warning for the Channel region

a low pressure area, causing high winds is moving rapidly across the Channel from England and should reach France later this evening

the winds will be accompanied by noxious odours and residents of France are advised to stay indoors and stick some garlic up leur nez –

June 13, 2014

Croatians Thrash English

by duncanr

english assOne shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, because appearances can be deceiving – as some young English football fans in Brazil for the World Cup found to their cost

The fools rushed in to a footie match against some old, fat Croatian men – loser to buy the beers – and paid the price of leaping before they’d looked –

January 5, 2014

England : Down (Under) and Out

by duncanr

bowled outEngland 0 – 5 Australia

Oh dear, perhaps ‘the least said, the better’ regarding the England cricket team’s awful performance against Australia’s cricketers (hee, hee) 😆

November 21, 2013

How England can win the World Cup

by duncanr

candlesEngland won the FiFa World Cup in 1966

It was a terrible thing to happen

That win has haunted every subsequent manager since.

It has led to unrealistically high expectations of success in every subsequent competition, when the truth is the players and the coach have just not been good enough

Following two defeats in recent ‘warm up’ games, only an eternal optimist or someone mentally deranged would bet on the team winning the Final in Brazil next year unless . . .

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March 23, 2012

No Cheap Booze for You Lot !

by duncanr

David Cameron is seriously misguided

Not my words (as you might have expected) but those of British Retail Consortium food director, Andrew Opie

What’s he on about? – the UK Government’s plan to introduce a minimum selling price for alcohol in England and Wales

Mr Cameron thinks by making alcohol more expensive, this will curb binge drinking and end the sight of drunken louts in town centres of an evening

See –

[Hhmm, I think retailers in Scotland will do a roaring trade as hordes of folk in England and Wales make a run across the border to stock up on cheap booze denied them at home] 😆