Posts tagged ‘forum’

October 26, 2008

Decay of a Service

by duncanr

Going to see a dentist is often a painful and frightening experience. Increasingly it is also an expensive one. Under the NHS contract, dentist get paid the same ‘for a complex root canal as a quick drill and fill.’ Since ‘time is money’ or in this case ‘no money’, some dentists are reluctant to carry out long procedures under the NHS when they could be doing 3 or 4 ‘quick’ procedures in the same time for 3 or 4 times the money. Instead, they will try to steer patients requiring lengthy treatment to go ‘private’.

An undercover team from Sky News took a patient requiring complex treatment to 10 NHS dentists. Only 2 were prepared to do the required work on the NHS.

Click here . .

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October 22, 2008

Garden Gnomes attacked

by duncanr

It was disgusting, these young lads were urinating in my fish pond,and kicking over my gnomes. I have never seen anything like it, I have lived here for 28 years, and my gnomes have never been attacked like this before.
Sheila Outrigger, Melbourne

They beheaded five of my gnomes and knocked over my brand-new bird bath. It’s a disgrace, they have no respect for others and I blame, as always, the parents.
Lucinda R, Melbourne

Full Story here …

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October 21, 2008

Oddbins Laden

by duncanr

Click here

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October 19, 2008

At Work Saturday

by randie

 

I work Saturdays doing office stuff at a place in the village where I live.  It isn’t riveting.  For a fair amount of the time, it isn’t even mildly interesting but it does spark up when Carl walks through the doors.

 

I think we all know blokes who like to think people see them as “Alpha Males”.  I’ve never asked him, but I’m pretty sure if I asked Our Lad if he thought he was one of them, he’d answer “What goddamned shit is that?”  He is just who he is, he’s got personality happening all over the place without even realising it and he cracks me the eff up.

 

He hunts.  A few weeks ago, it was the goose rifle hunt and now it’s the goose bow hunt.

 

So this afternoon he brings in this catalogue with all this hunting gear in it and I was completely floored.  I had no idea.  This stuff is serious business and it appears that bows have developed significantly since I was little and my bruv had one that used to fire things that had rubber suction cups attached to the ends of them.

 

This is what the bow that Carl uses looks like (only his has a telescopic sight attached to it):

 

 (oh YAY!!! It worked:  Pic for Nosey.  Ooops, that sounds bad…ahem…there you go Nosey, I managed to put in a jpeg… 🙂 – smiley for Nobbly.  Ratty:  please note all the punctuation.  Is it helping?) 

 

 

While some may think that the longbow is a little understated, it is Carl’s opinion that only a weekend warrior would use a crossbow something like this (please note the camouflage which disguises the weapon from the eagle-eyed prey):

 

 

Right, so I’m looking through the catalogue, trying not to giggle in disbelief and thinking “Holy Shit” and Carl comes out of his office waving one of these:

 

 

 

I’m like “Wassat then?”  Apparently, it is a “Goose Flag”.  Again, please note the camoflage on the one side of the flag.  The deal is when the hunter sees geese flying in the distance, he can whip one of these buggers out, start waving it and the geese think…well, who the hell really knows what the geese think…but a lot of the time, they’re daft enough to aim for the flag and get shot.  With a bullet during Rifle Season or an arrow (that looks like a warhead) during Bow Season.  For some reason, you wave the black side of the flag to attract the geese to come flying at you and then when they come in close, you turn it to the camoflage side.  I have no fucking idea why.

 

I’d been drinking a lot of coffee so I was idiot enough to ask him “Is that really sporting though, to trick em like that?” 

 

The response I got was “SPORTING???  Sporting would be to creep up behind the bastards and strangle the fuckers.  This is The Hunt, woman.”

 

And I’m like “Oh.  Right.  Good point.”

 

They’re going after Bambi next.  They refer to the boy-Bambis as “X Pointers” – the “X” being the number of little stick thingies they have sprouting off their antlers.  I think.  Damned if I’m gonna ask for verification on it though cos I’m pretty sure Carl thinks that I’m only two wings away from flying directly at his flags.    

 

Next week he’ll probably decide that everyone in the office should be in full camouflage wardrobe.  That stuff’s come a long way since Tarzan too. 

 

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October 18, 2008

What’s going on here?

by duncanr

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October 17, 2008

D.I.Y. Cremation

by duncanr

Dying is an expensive business for the surviving relatives.

With the costs of funerals rising, many Funeral Directors now offer ‘prepaid’ plans to try and ease the financial burden.

Alternatively, one could try the D.I.Y. approach adopted by one couple in California when their granny died.

Click here

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October 17, 2008

Bearded is Good

by duncanr

Good news for ‘Hairy faces’.

The British Association of Dermatologists (B.A.D.) has reported an increase in spotty faces which it claims is associated with the use of mobile phones.

Dr Graham Lowe, from Bad, dubbed the condition ‘mobile phone dermatitis’. He said: ‘The allergy results from frequent skin contact with nickel-containing objects.

A spokesman for the GSM Association, which represents mobile phone operators worldwide, said: ‘Using a case or hands-free kit will minimise contact with nickel.

Alternatively, one could –

a. grow a Beard

b. wear protective clothing when using a mobile

Full Story

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