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## Hagoromo Chalk

during my student days, I dated a girl studying for a degree in maths

never understood her passion for the subject – (maths was not my best subject at school)- nor that of her fellow maths students

thought there was something a bit odd about them

this video confirms my early suspicions that mathematicians are a weird bunch of folk

## Party Trick

this trick is best performed before your guests have had too much to drink since it involves some maths calculations !

((((‘X’ x 5) + 50) x 20) + 1015) – ‘Y’

where ‘X’ = shoe size, ‘Y’ = year of birth

Step 1 – multiply your shoe size by 5

Step 2 – add 50 to total in Step 1

Step 3 – multiply total in Step 2 by 20

Step 4 – add 1015 to total in Step 3

Step 5 – subtract your year of birth from total in Step 4

Result – if maths done correctly, total in Step 5 should be your shoe size followed by your age

## Labour Leader Maths

those clever chaps over at Huffington Post have revealed the maths behind the search for a new leader for the UK Labour Party

## Who the F*ck needs Maths ?

It may be different now but when I was at school in Scotland ~~in the 60’s~~a wee while ago I took ‘O’ level exams in Arithmetic, and Maths

The former tested a knowledge of adding, subtracting, dividing, and multiplying

The latter tested knowledge of utter useless shite (unless one was going to . . .

## 5 x 14 = 25

Damn, I’ve been doing it wrong all my life

Can’t believe how dumb my maths teachers were !

## 1 x Big Mac + 2 x Chicken McNuggets = McMaths

More than 1.4 million students at schools in Australia are to be given free access to an online Maths program sponsored by the fast food giant, McDonald’s

When they open the program on their computers, students will see the McDonald’s logo and the words:

“Proudly provided by your local McDonald’s restaurant.”

Secondary Principals Association president **Andrew Blair** said McDonald’s was making a “generous contribution to building the foundation skills of Australian students”.

Not everyone, however, unreservedly shares that opinion – **Professor Bobby Banerjee** from the University of Western Sydney College of Business said the program might improve students’ maths but it was also promoting McDonald’s.

“There is a return for the company – they claim they are doing it to serve the community but that’s not entirely true,” he said.

## Consider this…

Procrastination and prevarication are two of the most popular past times chez Nosey. While I consider that they are employed, by my family, with the sole objective of raising my blood pressure, academics say ‘NO!’ the reason is in the formula.

U=EV/ID.

“The ‘U’ stands for utility, or the desire to complete a given task. It is equal to the product of E, the expectation of success, and V the value of completion, divided by the product of I, the immediacy of the task, and D, the personal sensitivity to delay. ”

Well that explains it then! I was so impressed that I came up with my very own formula which explains how much chocolate a woman will eat in any given day.

X=CH/(O/C)

X is amount of chocolate, C is the value of laundry tasks to be done, H is number of handbags not bought over the previous year, and O is the snugness of fit of favourite jeans.