Posts tagged ‘Ohio’

December 15, 2015

Humane Head-Ripping-Off Machine

by duncanr

shortage of the needed chemicals has required States in the US to seek alternatives to lethal injection to execute prisoners sentenced to death . . .

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August 4, 2014

Toledo Toxic Water

by duncanr

toledo water scareWater water everywhere and not a drop to drink

[or brush your teeth with either, if you live in some parts of Ohio]

http://tinyurl.com/kktpryg

hhmmm, sounds to me like a pretty good excuse to drink some beer πŸ˜†

January 6, 2014

Same-Sex Marriage Protester on Hunger Strike

by duncanr

15231-large_2520Meacham35 yr old Trestin Meacham is so upset that same-sex marriages are legal in the state of Ohio that he has gone on hunger strike until gay couples in Ohio are banned from marrying

I cannot stand by and do nothing while this evil takes root in my home . . . Some things in life are worth sacrificing one’s health and even life if necessary (http://tinyurl.com/ot42wpx)

Hhmmm, one less homophobe in the world isn’t going to make much difference but – hey, it’s a start ! πŸ˜‰

November 15, 2013

Parenting FAIL

by duncanr

naughty boy being sent awayLet’s not pretend otherwise for fear of being judged a bad parent

Let’s be brutally honest – kids are not always good. Sometimes they can be right little b*stards !

None of us are ‘perfect’ as a parent and we have all at times (understandably), lost our patience, been driven up the wall by their behaviour, and may have yelled screamed sworn at raised our voices to the little gob-shites

[Clashes of wills, temperament, opinions are all part of family life]

However tempting the idea might . . .

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October 30, 2013

Christmas comes early to Ohio

by duncanr

xmas presents120In 2009, we celebrated Xmas twice in our house (http://tinyurl.com/kgaxo3r)

Accepting that her long battle against lung cancer was nearing its end and that the odds were against her spending one last Xmas with family and friends, we invited everyone round to celebrate Xmas in August. As it happened, Mrs D held on to life for another few months – dying on 3rd Jan 2010 – so we managed to celebrate Xmas twice in 2009

Devin Kohlman lives in Port Clinton, Ohio

He is 13 yr old, and he has cancer

Doctors have told his family that . . .

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October 23, 2013

Hotcards Burn 2013

by duncanr

There’s some funny buggers in Ohio – [and I don’t just mean Bearman – http://beartoons.com/ ]

21 folk – who are not quite right in the head – set themselves on fire on Oct 19 to raise money for charity and to set a new Guinness World Record for the most number of people on fire at the same time

July 12, 2013

Man Caught having Sex with Inflatable Mattress

by duncanr

o-LILO-570An Ohio man has been busted for having sex with a Li-Lo

http://tinyurl.com/o7aerxu

It is not clear how long he and the li-lo had been together but if he was hoping for a long-term relationship, he was doomed to be disappointed – pricks and inflatables are just not compatible !

P.S. why couldn’t he just buy an inflatable doll like any normal man ? πŸ™„

June 9, 2010

Dial 911 for Love

by duncanr

An Alliance, Ohio woman, Audrey Scott, was jailed for 3 days for misusing the 911 emergency phone number.

If you want to report a crime or a medical emergency, then you dial 911 in the US.

If you are drunk, and horny, but don’t have a man then it can be a tad frustrating. What it’s not though, is an emergency.

Ms Scott phoned 911 five times in an hour begging the operator to find her a man before the police picked her up and held her on a misdemeanor charge for 3 days

Source . . .

January 3, 2010

Water into Wine ?

by duncanr

Jesus famously turned water into wine (that’s one way to attract a lot of followers)

I think someone has been doing the reverse to my wine. I’m on my 3rd bottle – and had a few beers in between to freshen my mouth πŸ˜† And I’m still as sober as when I set out to drink myself drunk 😦

So either my wine’s been watered down or the wine entering my body is exiting through my tears before it gets the chance to clog up my bloodstream.

While on the subject of wine, this little item caught my eye. Can you believe it? The State of Ohio has made it an offense for a household to purchase more than 288 bottles of wine – a year !!!

Source . . .

Unless my maths is wrong – and assuming only 2 adults to a household – that works out at less than 1/2 bottle of wine a day !!!

Jeez, glad I don’t live in Ohio. And if I did, I wouldn’t be stopping there long

November 4, 2009

Daughter gives better BJ than Mum

by duncanr

haaiBlowJob250Several bloggers and News web sites have been carrying a story today about a woman who calls the cops to complain because her daughter has been giving her husband a blow job.

And as if that wasn’t enough to annoy her, apparently her daughter gives better head than she does !!!

This is such a delicious story and has gone ‘viral’ in a very short space of time yet there is a surprising lack of detail to flesh out the story.

The incident is reputed to have taken place in Findlay, Ohio and reported in the local newspaper ‘The Courier’

As a service to fellow Madhatters I volunteered myself to track down the original story and post here the no doubt salacious details other folks had decided not to repeat.

It turns out that the ‘story’ was no more than a single sentence listed amongst the Public Records lodged by the Findlay Police Department and the Hancock County Sheriff’s Office for Mon 2nd Nov and reprinted by The Courier.

Reading between the lines, this sensational story may boil down to a simple argument between a drunk couple and things being said – not because they are true – but just to hurt and wind the other person up.

The record of crimes, however, reported to and acted upon by Findlay Police makes fascinating reading. No time for these cops to sit on their arse drinking coffee and dunkin donuts. The place is a veritable hive of criminal activity. Don’t believe me? Well, judge for yourself !

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