Posts tagged ‘oregon’

July 31, 2020

Feds back off, Portland quiets down

by allthoughtswork

Federal officers use tear gas as fire set at Portland federal courthouse - KTVZ

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The police and Feds left the protesters alone last night and the crowd was overwhelmingly….

…calm.

Turns out, if you don’t abuse people, they don’t lash out. Who knew?

You can take your toy soldiers home now, ya orange bastard.

July 30, 2020

What the Portland protesters left behind

by allthoughtswork

The police did a sweep and cleared out the protesters’ camp early this morning. This used to be a little park with green grass and flowers. Not sure how this helps the cause.

It should be interesting to see tonight’s retaliation.

July 29, 2020

Portland, Oregon, fights back!

by allthoughtswork

Five things to know about tonight's World Naked Bike Ride - BikePortland.org

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“You may fire tear gas at our grannies, assault our veterans, and shoot our young people in the head, but don’t block our bike lanes!”

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July 24, 2020

I’ll see your Wall of Moms and raise you some Raging Grannies

by allthoughtswork

Portland Raging Grannies | Portland Pride | Major Clanger | Flickr

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Don’t mess with women over 50, we don’t care if our hair gets messed up while we beat you to death with our umbrella. The protest action in Portland, Oregon, is getting…well…Portlandier.

July 20, 2020

How to flip off the police right

by allthoughtswork

Chris David is Portland right now.

The 52-year-old navy vet walks down to the protests for the first time to ask the federal officers about their oath of office. He stands impassively like a rock while a tiny SWAT guy assaults him impotently with a baton. Then, Chris moseys off, middle fingers high, wearing a fresh coating of pepper spray and rocking a broken wrist.

The FUCK YOU is strong with this one. Trump should be ball-retractingly jealous right about now.

June 16, 2020

Dang it, it’s never where I’m at!

by allthoughtswork

I’ve always wanted to see a tornado. Always. Since a childhood of hiding in root cellars with my stuffed animals while sirens wailed, since that one scene in The Wizard of Oz gave me nightmares until my 20s. (Hey, it was really well done for the times), since Twister.

Yeah, I know it sucked. Shut up. The soundtrack was awesome.

Oregon doesn’t exactly get wall clouds on a regular basis, much less rotation, but every once in a while our meteorology squeezes out “an event.” And it’s always on the other side of town. Damnit.

May 10, 2020

Damn, it was hot yesterday

by allthoughtswork

Funny-Restaurant-Signs-El-Arroyo-Texas

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Oregon is having one of those annoying little heat waves where it’s just hot enough to make you really uncomfortable and fuck up your good night’s sleep but it’s not going to last long enough to haul the air conditioners out of the garage and mount them in the windows yet.

(wipes boob sweat)

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May 10, 2020

FREE BEER!

by allthoughtswork

Rusty Truck Brewing Company | Craft Beer Brewed In Lincoln City, Oregon

COVID-19 has caused another tragic and unexpected fatality. Craft beer brewers make beer all winter so they can sell it all summer, and this summer…well….

Thing is, really hoppy beer doesn’t have a great shelf life so Rusty Truck Brewing on the Oregon coast had two choices: dump it down the drain or give it away to whomever shows up with a growler under each arm. Cheers, mate.

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May 9, 2020

Logic in the Time of Coronavirus, Part 5

by allthoughtswork

random thoughts for Thursday March 20th, 2014 – COUNTRY LEGENDS JUKEBOX

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So, I go to this specialty nursery to pick up native plants for a xeric garden. An employee shows me around while standing six feet away from me.

She answers questions from six feet away.

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May 5, 2020

Oregon winery opens a drive-in movie theater…with wine

by allthoughtswork

So, let me get this straight: You drink alcohol all night in your car, you honk the horn when you have to pee, then you must drive away to find a restroom?

(raises hand)

“I have a question…”

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