Posts tagged ‘poem’

October 28, 2017

Trevor’s Trapped Testicle

by duncanr

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July 29, 2017

The First Time

by duncanr

I remember the first time I tried it
I was only a lad o’ sixteen
And though she was younger than I was
She was much more composed and serene.

It was doon in the byre on the straw
At the end o’ a fine summer’s day
The air was scented wi’clover
And the smell of freshly cut hay

I was eager, but . . .

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February 17, 2017

The Chaos

by duncanr

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
   I will teach you in my verse
   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with . . .

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December 19, 2016

Musing on Winter

by duncanr

winter-poem

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August 14, 2016

Hollie McNish : Embarrassed

by duncanr

March 13, 2016

English is easy…

by sticky

2762368_origHere is a little poem to explain the incongruities of the English language to any and all who don’t benefit from having been born into

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February 22, 2016

Red, Red Wine

by duncanr

red wine glasswhen this poem began I had in mind
its shape to resemble a glass of wine
and so for each line I carefully wrote
I emptied a Rioja down my throat
but as I went on I came to see
my poem was not quite
as it should be;
some
lines
were
too long
my speling
went rong
and the rhyming scheem and shape had compleetly
disapeared by the end of it

via B&P

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December 9, 2015

Anti-Valentine’s Day

by duncanr

unromanticaccording to a survey by dating site eHarmony, today is the least romantic day of the year – [one reason single folk are not looking to start a new relationship at this time of the year, apparently, is to avoid having to buy a Xmas present for someone they barely know] – http://tinyurl.com/oo4nrbk

in keeping with the notion today is the least romantic day of the year, I have penned an anti-valentine poem . . .

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January 28, 2015

My Sweaty Vagina Fail

by duncanr

lovers2_180it’s Valentine’s Day shortly

it probably seemed a wizard idea as a marketing ploy to create an online love poem generator

the idea being you ask people to submit a number of key words which are then inserted into a template to create a love poem

except, they didn’t reckon on arseholes like me taking the piss

here’s what happened when I . . .

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March 17, 2014

What a Shower !

by duncanr

baby According to Wikepedia, guests to a ‘baby shower’ typically bring small baby-related gifts for the mum-to-be.

It is considered bad manners, however, for the expectant mother to beg for gifts

Clearly, some greedy b*stards need to brush up on the etiquette for these occasions !

http://tinyurl.com/o8o8p5u

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