Posts tagged ‘portland’

July 15, 2019

If Portland turns into Hollywood, I’m gonna have to move

by allthoughtswork

Image result for movie camera lens facing forward

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Many years ago, I met two guys on top of a hill in a cemetery playing with their new GoPro drone. It was the first drone I ever saw. They were cameramen for Grimm.

A few years after that, I’m walking down a street before dawn…

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February 27, 2019

Yeah, it’s a llama on light rail, you got a problem with that, buddy?

by allthoughtswork

Man took a llama onto the train in Portland

Actually, no, because it’s Portland and nobody here even notices.

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February 9, 2019

Portlandpocalypse

by allthoughtswork

Image result for portland oregon skyline

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I swear to god, this town….

Yesterday, I spent two hours running a twenty minute errand and got a taste of the apocalypse, Pacific Northwest-style.

It was like a scene from a disaster movie. The highways were jammed with furious gridlock, horns were honking, people were taking crazy chances, jerks were being extra jerky, emergency vehicles everywhere….

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January 23, 2019

The Unipiper: Portland’s spirit animal

by allthoughtswork

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December 25, 2018

Baijui: I’ve got to try this stuff

by allthoughtswork

Image result for Vinn Baijiu Family Reserve

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Nixon’s Chief-of-staff Alexander Haig warned him ‘Under no repeat no circumstances should the President actually drink’ the stuff.

“Dan Rather said it tasted like ‘liquid razor blades.’

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August 31, 2018

The UFO on our nude beach

by allthoughtswork

Image result for nude beach funny

Yes, Oregon has a nude beach. Several, in fact. No, it’s never anybody you’d actually want to see naked. Yes, there is an actual weird-ass contraption washed up on shore. No, it’s not really an unidentified “floating” object.

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July 30, 2018

The Portland Adult Soap Box Derby

by allthoughtswork

The drunken revelry, the weapons grade water guns, the smell of your own flesh cooking under a hot August sun like a chicken fajita–this is the most Portlandly Portland thing to do in the dog days of summer. 

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March 26, 2018

Voodoo Doughnuts suck. Yeah, I said it.

by allthoughtswork

Image result for voodoo doughnuts

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When you visit Portland, Oregon, everybody asks, “Have you been to Voodoo Doughnut yet?”

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October 22, 2017

Lies, all lies

by allthoughtswork

Image result for portland funny

You know those articles that list all the highlights (or lowlights) of your city…and you realize halfway through that whomever put fingers to keyboard on this one must’ve had a beer bottle full of apple cider vinegar shoved up their ass at the time? Let’s break it down with a hammer, shall we?

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October 20, 2017

Well, THIS should be interesting

by allthoughtswork

screencapture-wunderground-forecast-us-wa-washougal-98671-1508536497962

Anybody got some water wings I can borrow for Saturday?

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