Posts tagged ‘prison’

July 24, 2014

Jesus : Biggest Arsehole in Brazil ?

by duncanr

ouchGreater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life to stick

two mobile phones
two batteries,
pliers
two drill bits
eight pieces of hacksaw blade
five nails
and three sim cards

up one’s arse for one’s friends.

http://tinyurl.com/oyge5gu

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June 5, 2014

Russia Jails Boy with Big Balls

by duncanr

jailed penisDoes size really matter?

well it does in Russia, apparently

and in some circumstances it is better to be small !

http://tinyurl.com/lm4jtpq

April 17, 2014

Only in America

by duncanr

prisonerRyan Holle is serving a life sentence in a Florida prison, with no possibility of parole – convicted of pre-meditated murder, though everyone, including the prosecutor, accepts he was asleep in bed when the crime was committed – http://tinyurl.com/omzprcs

April 16, 2014

Public Pisser Imprisoned

by duncanr

peeing manWho hasn’t been caught short at times, especially after a drink – desperate for a pee and no toilet in sight ?

Times like these there’s only one thing to do

Just make sure you’re not caught in the act, though – especially if you are in America.

This poor bugger got 18 months in jail for relieving the pressure on his bladder where he shouldn’t

http://tinyurl.com/kldg8nn

January 4, 2014

Female Prisoners Escape Foiled by Inabilty to Judge Length

by duncanr

959566-4fd930ce-7375-11e3-a270-7f94192abf56An attempt by two female prisoners to escape from a minimum security prison in Australia was foiled when prison officers found a rope made from knotted sheets under one of their beds – http://tinyurl.com/oho9b4r

Prison officers are puzzled why the women thought they needed a rope 18m long to scale a fence that is only 6m high

Hhmm, could it be their estimate of length was so wrong because men have been telling them this – http://imgur.com/3YkQBoE

August 2, 2013

Where there’s a Will, there’s a . . . Baby

by duncanr

111111-baby1201The wife of a Palestinian prisoner, Abdul Kareem al-Rimawi (who is serving a 25-year sentence in an Israeli prison), has given birth to a baby boy following IVF treatment using her husband’s sperm smuggled out of the prison

How this ‘Emission Impossible’ task was accomplished is not known – and Abdul’s family are not talking lest they spoil it for other Palestinian prisoners wanting to impregnate their women when the traditional route of doing so is denied to them

It has to be said that the . . .

read more »

January 11, 2013

Prisoners Balls Slashed

by duncanr

main in painDealing with the damage strict security measures in Northern Ireland prisons cause to inmates balls cost the taxpayer around £105,906 over the past 3 years, according to official figures released to Independent TD Denis Naughten.

This is “an astronomical sum“, said Mr Naughten “serious questions (need) to be asked

“Bollocks”, said a spokesman for the Irish Prison Service

Full story here – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-20958817

November 25, 2012

Penis Attacker Imprisoned

by duncanr

prisoner

It’s this big

62 yr old Fred Thomas, from Cushing, Maine, U.S., has been sentenced to 5 days in prison, probation for a year, and ordered to attend an anger management course after being found guilty of domestic violence

‘Domestic violence’ is apparently what the law calls it when your ex-wife refuses to have sex with you – even though you’ve offered her a very generous £15 for a shag – and you whip out your penis and hit her with it.

Personally, I call it showing off !

Source – http://tinyurl.com/d4dtqkk

November 10, 2012

Anders Breivik Complains Human Rights Violated

by duncanr

anders breivikRemember Anders Beivik?

The Norwegian nutter jailed for killing 77 people in a bombing and shooting frenzy last year ?

He is not a happy man – thinks his human rights are being violated

In a 27 page letter of complaint, the poor mite bemoans the fact his cell is sparsely decorated and does not have a view. He is also less than happy that prison staff do not give him enough butter to cover his bread, and often serve him lukewarm coffee – sadistic b*stards !!!

http://tinyurl.com/b2eou6m

October 26, 2012

Crime Does Pay

by duncanr

A man robs a bank, gets caught, is sent to prison and after he’s served his sentence, he’s given the money he stole in the first place because no-one else wants it

You think I’m making this up, don’t you?

http://tinyurl.com/9jpe5xd